The art of showing up

I come from a gym background where you lift stuff and put it back down. The weights do not strangle you or make you feel like an idiot by defending your lifts. You can very easily form a bubble where you think you’re unstoppable because you can always have your way and decide what you’re going to do. For example, when you lift weights, you can always lift a certain amount of weight that you know you can lift. Even if you try a 1 RM max, you can use a spotter or a rack that spots you.

BJJ is different, you do something wrong, you get punished for it. When I first started BJJ, I had this thought that my muscles meant something. That thought was permanently gone when I was strangled by a girl that has 50% BW compared to me. Nowadays, I go to training expecting to be strangled and humiliated. It has completely humbled me, outside of BJJ too.

Today I was begging for a reason to skip BJJ class like feeling sick. If I skip something without a good reason, I feel like a loser. That being said, it’s always a struggle. At first glance, it’s not very appealing to know you’re most likely going to be very vulnerable and humbled. It makes me nervous.

Well, I showed up. Today, the BJJ class had my favorite instructors, Marko and Sami. We had stuff like from Greco-Roman wrestling, pulling a guard and then sweeping the other person and taking control. It made me feel like a dumbass. I know how to sit on my ass or lay on my back, but today I completely forgot all the guards and sweeps I’ve ever learned. It made me feel disappointed because the person I was practicing with started BJJ at the same time and he was completing the task with ease. During sparring, I got strangled so hard that while writing this blog post my throat hurts every time I swallow.

If you read this and have never done BJJ in your life, you might think, why on earth would anyone do this to themselves? The reasons are pretty simple, BJJ is beautiful. It reminds you that there is always someone better than you, someone who is smarter than you, stronger than you, faster at learning than you, you name it. Every time someone strangles you and you tap to them, it’s the ultimate ego killer, rightfully so, it’s basically saying “Hey, during primal times, you could have killed me right there, thanks for keeping me alive.” It teaches you that you are never in a position to talk down on anyone. Since after all, you’re not really that important or smart.

Reading this, you might think to yourself “Wow, this guy really had a shitty session.” but guess what? I showed up. Showing up is the most important thing to do.

You didn’t pass that exam? Swallow your ego and realize you didn’t deserve to pass that exam because you didn’t read enough. Read more and then show up again. You got strangled and you feel like a dumbass? Swallow your ego and realize you’re not as important and smart as you think. Show up again and one day you might be. Life is ruthless. At the end of the day, no matter how hard you got hit, at least you showed up. That’s all that matters.